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Teenagers Comments

What has been helpful:

  1. writing a journal
  2. friends: who listen no matter what, who don’t pretend to understand, who knew the person who died, who have been in a similar situation, who are also grieving
  3. talking to someone who knows about suicide
  4. people making time for me
  5. rituals like memorial services
  6. playing their favourite song
  7. drawing a picture of the person
  8. cards from friends and friends calling in
  9. spending time alone in my room
  10. listening to music
  11. student health service

What has been Unhelpful:

  1. study and school work pressure
  2. friends who don’t understand or who are hypocritical, saying they understand when you know they don’t
  3. teachers thinking they understand; being nosy, putting pressure on you, being insensitive
  4. people asking questions
  5. demanding answers when you don’t feel like talking; saying ‘snap out of it’, spreading rumours; always bringing it up
  6. putting their foot in it
  7. parents saying you shouldn’t cry

What you would have liked:

  1. parents to chill out
  2. people not being scared to mention the person’s name and talk about them

What has been the most difficult:

  1. being expected to be ‘back to normal’ after a certain time
  2. being where the person who died used to live and them not being there
  3. going past the place where they died
  4. selling and removing their clothing and possessions
  5. not being able to talk about it because it happened a long time ago and so people don’t mention it
  6. blaming myself
  7. not being able to cry at home
  8. having to explain why I’m crying and not wanting to talk about it so it’s better not to cry
  9. every one supporting our parents and telling us to support them – what about us?
  10. not being told the facts – the truth being kept back
  11. seeing parents cry