Is it my fault?

NO!! You are not responsible for the death of your special person.  Feelings of guilt are actually normal and common when someone you love dies.  You may blame yourself for something you did, or did not do, for something you said or did not say, maybe you feel like you did not do enough for that person before they died and you could have somehow prevented the death.  All those ‘what if I…’ and ‘if only I…’ questions and thoughts are all normal and healthy responses. It is part of the grieving process.

You cannot go back in time. To move forward you need to acknowledge your feelings and find a way to let go of your guilt, otherwise it ends up consuming you.  Find someone you trust that you can confide in and talk to about these feelings, maybe an adult at home or at school, a friend or coming along to one of our support groups.

Try writing a letter to the person who has died letting them know how you are feeling and asking for their forgiveness.

Feelings of guilt can be more complicated when your loved one has died in traumatic circumstances, especially if the mode of death was suicide.

Please remember you are not alone and reach out to get support, see the list of useful websites or phone our help line on 02380 647550.

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