Yes, and no!! At the moment you may feel all consumed by the death of your special person or you may not feel anything at all, and that is okay. You may feel as if all those big feelings and emotions, all that sadness and grief seem to occupy every part of you. It is important to understand you are on a journey and you will not always feel like you do at the moment. That is not to say those feelings will go away, lessen or disappear but as you progress on your bereavement journey, over time you will grow, you will change, you will learn how to move forward and live again as you adjust to your new ‘normal life’ without your special person. That does not mean you will forget them, a crucial part of bereavement work is helping you to treasure and capture those memories. It means you come to a point where you can look back on happy times and smile instead of cry, it means you can start living your life again and looking forwards.
Looking at some Models of Grief help you understand the grieving process and give you hope that you will not always feel sad.
“Grief is like an ocean, it comes in waves, ebbing and flowing. Sometimes the water is calm and sometimes it is overwhelming. All we can learn to do is swim.”
On those good grief days, we are paddling, laughing and enjoying being near and in the sea but sometimes (and it can appear out of nowhere) the storm whips up or we feel overwhelmed by a tsunami, those bad grief days are hard but with support you can get through and weather the storm.
“My dad died 5 years ago and although it has been hard I feel like now I am in a new chapter. I wouldn’t be the person I am today; it has shaped me. Now I am more confident, I don’t care so much about what other people think, I have learnt the importance of living each day and making the most of opportunities. Sure, there are some days when I am still sad and there always will be.”
Simon Says Young Person
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